It's a sad state of affairs when the best thing to be said about a product is "nice packaging," but that's exactly the case with Strawberry Shortcake Dance Dance Revolution. Theoretically, this is a kid game based on Konami's preeminently popular DDR games, where you actuate in-game dance steps (as prompted by on-screen visual cues and an audible beat) through a large, button-laden mat that spreads out on the floor in front of the TV. However, in actuality, it's just a shameless, hopeless, maddening cash grab using two popular brand names.

The game's two redemptive qualities also represent its greatest flaws. First, Strawberry Shortcake DDR is a stand-alone, battery-operated, plug n' play videogame system; a dance mat that jacks directly into your TV set with the entire game residing on a microchip within, so no console required. It's also inexpensive which, in this case, also means "cheap" in the worst sense of the word.

Graphically, it couldn't look worse on an 8-bit game console circa 1988, so splotchy and blocky (and way too pink) are the renditions of Strawberry and friends, dancing along like virtual buddies with as much animated conviction as a slide show at half speed -- the downside of inexpensive, self-contained technology. The audio, meanwhile, is similarly painful: grating, squawky electronica that wouldn't have cut muster on a digital egg timer 20 years ago. Percussively, the dance beats are as rhythmically convincing as a dropped bag of groceries. To call it music is an insult to cats in heat.

Worse than all that, gameplay itself is totally unforgiving, totally oblivious to the fact that rhythmic placement of a foot or two on vaguely specific splotches on the floor -- without looking, mind you, because you need to keep your eyes on the screen to figure out where you feet should end up on any particular beat -- is not something the average 7-year-old girl is going to have down pat, nor are they likely to have the gumption to care less. There's no training mode, no "easy" button, just an arcade mode that lets you miss a few step before it calls you a loser (figuratively, anyway) or a "freeplay" mode that just rattles on without scoring misses but otherwise lacks any indicators of progress or adaptive reward system that at least hints at a sense fun within the ignoble frustration of it all.

Strawberry shortcake was tested using seven 7-year-olds at a birthday party. It was the low point of the afternoon; no one seemed keen on practicing to see if it might get fun eventually. There were better things to do, after all, like play musical chairs to Little Mermaid songs cranking out of the iPod speaker dock; play real videogames on the Nintendo Wii; or watch paint dry. That this Strawberry DDR can pretend at a self-contained package of healthful musical aerobics is just an insult to most young girl's basic idea of what music is suppose to sound like and what modern interactive entertainment actually looks like.

It's just a cheap toy in a colorful box. It looks endearing, but it will invariably end up in the $1-takes-all box at your next garage sale.